Wilds of Orange County?

Around dusk yesterday I was watering the garden when I felt something buzz around my right ear. I floundered spastically as I panicked. I hate flying things around my ears. I had just finished watering, so I wound the hose, turned off the water and went inside.

I went upstairs to wash my face and get into some more comfortable clothes when I again felt something buzz in my ear. This time I wondered if it might be a nerve spasm in my ear from my prior panic. I grabbed a q-tip and swabbed my ear, but didn't find anything abnormal.

I went downstairs and sat down with Dave on the couch when I felt it again. I asked him to look inside my year with a flashlight, but he couldn't see anything. He suggested trying to flush it out to see if anything was in there, neither one of us believing there was.

I tried hydrogen peroxide. I remembered reading somewhere that you can use that to clean out your ears. I poured the hydrogen peroxide in my right ear, tipping my head so it would go down the ear canal. It felt awful, cold and bubbly. I titled my head to get the fluid out and repeated the procedure. The second time I emptied my ear, I noticed a small tan spider in the sink, seemingly dead now. My first inclination was to flush it down the sink in horror realizing that it had been inside me. Reason still had a tiny voice and I grabbed a tissue and scooped up the dead spider.

I carried it downstairs to show Dave. He was surprised and apologetic. Neither one of us believed anything was still actually in there. Dave took the spider and put it in a small jar in case we needed to show it to a doctor. I flushed my ear a few more times in case it had laid an egg sac in the ear canal. Doubtful, but once you've had a spider in your ear, you can't be too careful.

I'll try to take a picture of the spider. My camera doesn't do macro shots too well, so I'll have to try another one.

After this incident, I researched what to do in case an insect makes its way into your ear. You should pour mineral oil in your ear, this will drown the insect. Then you can flush the little bugger out without damaging your ear. Don't try to use a swab as you may just push it down further or make it bite you. Go to a doctor if you can't get it out easily. Ear Emergencies from Medline Plus Encyclopedia.

Heartless Bastards

A few months ago Dave read a small review of the Heartless Bastards in Rolling Stone. We previewed the album, "Stairs and Elevators" on the iTunes Music Store and liked what we heard. We picked up the CD at Tower Records and found a new favorite band. Dave liked them so much he bought another copy and shipped it up to our friend Jill in San Francisco. She loved them as well.

The Heartless Bastards are a three piece band. Erika Wennerstrom is the lead vocalist and guitarist, who along with bassist, Mike Lamping, and drummer, Kevin Vaughn, belt out the most honest rock and roll I have heard.

We joined their mailing list and waited for them to tour Southern California. They played Spaceland in Los Angeles on Saturday, June 25th. Spaceland is a great club. We had never been there before and were not sure what to expect. It was a 21 and over club and they checked IDs carefully. Other than that it was a very laid back place. There was a small stage with tables around the walls, a bar and pool table and an enclosed area for smokers. California has strict smoking laws and the club did not allow you to go out once you were in. The club also had valet parking for $4 which is the way to go. There is parking in the surrounding streets, but only until 11 PM.

The first two bands were pretty good. The second band, Mother Superior, is an LA band and quite proficient musicians. It was not my favorite style of music but I could appreciate their craft. We brought our Heartless Bastards CD to see if we could get the band to sign it. My friend Jill, had seen them the night before in San Francisco. Jill had spoken to Erika and regretted not having her CD to get it signed. We bought another CD for Jill and two t-shirts and asked to Erika sign both discs. She was so gracious and sweet, thanking us for coming and seeming very excited to have people enjoy their music.

The set was amazing. Erika is a tiny woman with an Amazon's voice. She belts out her songs with such honest, raw emotion. I have read that she is shy and that showed in her stage presence. She kept her eyes closed through most of the set, as did Mike and Kevin. Kevin is an animal on the drums, beating them mercilessly. They played new material that is not on the album, so hopefully a new album is in the works when they finish touring.

The press on the Heartless Bastards is glowing and I can see why. I hope they make it big and I am so thankful that I got to see them in a small club and meet them. You can download a couple of MP3s from their Web site to preview the music. Then you should go buy the CD, you will love it.

Eulogy for a cat. Kiggy Cabelle (1989-2005)

Kiggy passed away on Thursday, June 23, 2005. She will be missed by her family and friends, humans and feline.

On July 14, 1989, after years of bugging my mom I was finally getting a kitten. I found an ad in the classified section of the OC Register for kittens. My best friend, Jill, and I called and got directions to an apartment in Anaheim. When we arrived, we found a living room full of cats and kittens. A woman ran an adoption service out of her apartment for cats needing homes. She had a playpen full of kittens in all shapes and sizes. I initially wanted a tabby cat, but she only had a male who was very hyper. I was drawn to a scrawny tortoiseshell cat who seemed quieter than the rest. She would sit on your lap and be petted without zipping around like the other kittens. I felt sorry for her because she was kind of ugly, skinny and older than the others. The woman encouraged us to take her as she was having a hard time placing her. My heart melted and I adopted Kiggy.

Little did I know that the reason she was so quiet was because she was sick. For the first three days I had her she had diarrhea. We cheered the first time she had a solid bowel movement. After she felt better, she was a typical kitten. She kept me up all night playing.

Kiggy moved with me all through my 20's and into my 30's. She lived in at least 5 different places, but always took change in stride. While she didn't run to greet visitors, she would always welcome a kind hand and pet. She was a spitfire, though. She was obstinate about things she did not want to do, especially being medicated. She had several bouts of cystitis before we got her weight under control. It was hard pilling her. Luckily she loved hair ball gel and you could hide a pill in that so she would swallow it down. If you handled her gently and patiently, she would often comply. But if you ever tried to force her, she was a little terror. She was all teeth and claws.

The last few years, her favorite things were eating and sleeping. If she could find a patch in the sun, she was in heaven. Kiggy, I hope you find that eternal patch in the sun so you can stretch out and show your blonde footie. Murf.

Final Gift

It may be a strange way of thinking about it, but I feel like the final kindness or gift we can give Kiggy is a peaceful death. We could wait to see her deteriorate further, to stop eating completely, to cry out in pain, to make it easier on us to make this terrible choice. Or we can choose to let her die peacefully - now before she gets worse, while she can still get some rest and enjoy her chicken broth.

So tomorrow at 4:30 PM, we'll take her to Dr. Bass and let him euthanize her. He will sedate her and give her an IV. She will get an overdose of barbiturates and fall asleep forever. Not a bad way to go.

We're having her cremated and her ashes will be returned to us in a cedar box. We haven't decided what we'll do with the ashes yet.

Tough Decisions

We had a hard weekend with Kiggy. I tried to give her the bronchodilator Dr. Bass prescribed but she wouldn't take it with food, she ate around it. I tried to pill her but she refused to open her mouth. She had amazing strength and I didn't want to force her as she was becoming agitated and her breathing was already labored.

She later hid downstairs in the bathroom, tucking herself in between the toilet and the wall. We weren't sure she would make it past morning as she was not eating much, maybe a teaspoon of food per day, and not moving out of her spot.

It's difficult because she seems to get better and then slide back down. But it is all relative. Getting better means that she moved from one spot in the house to another, that she ate a little more food. But in reality it's a slow decline, her breathing labored and her cough returning.

Dr. Bass called on Sunday to check on her. We told him how she was and he asked if we were able to get any of the medication into her. I said no and explained why. He said he would call to find a compound pharmacy who could make a liquid version. I decided to try to crumble the pill in some peanut butter, which she used to love. She actually ate the peanut butter that night, which we were happy about.

The medication seemed to help some. Monday morning she seemed a bit better, her breathing was still labored but her appetite had improved. She even ate some dry food. She spent part of the day laying in the sun out in our enclosed atrium. But after the sun got too warm, she moved back upstairs and hasn't moved much since.

I can only get her to eat a teaspoon or so of food per day. She's wasting away before our eyes, the once rotund Kiggy now skin and bones. Her rib cage moves quickly in and out as she tries to get more oxygen into her lungs. She's mostly alert though agitated and she no longer likes being petted. She tries to move out of the way of our hands which just makes it harder for her to breathe. So we only pet softly on her head, once maybe twice before she gets fidgety.

The last test results came back as inconclusive. There is no discernible infection and we have no mode of treatment. I can't bear to see her like this. This isn't my Kiggy. We decided to euthanize her, most likely tomorrow. Dave had to call because I can't talk about it without crying.

This is harder than I thought it would be. I will miss her but want her to have some peace.

Bronchodilators

Kiggy felt well enough last night to climb the stairs and lay in her favorite spot. I put her in her cat bed and she slept peacefully. She still was not hungry in the morning so I went to the grocery store before I went to work and bought her some baby food, chicken in chicken broth. She perked her little head up when I popped open the jar and ate 3 or 4 spoonfuls.

Her breathing is more labored than yesterday. I called Dr. Bass and he wants to try a bronchodilator. He's calling in a prescription for Terbutaline, which is a human medication. We can give her a small dose which should help by relaxing the muscles of the bronchi and bronchioles in the lungs and allow air to penetrate deeper into tissues. It won't cure anything but should make her feel better. That along with the humidifier should help. I'll pick that up this afternoon and give it a try.

He told me that we may not know what is causing this without further tests, either a catscan to look for tumors or the scope procedure. He said if it was his kitty, he'd concentrate on making her feel better and if she doesn't get better we can discuss "other options".

Oddly, I'm coming to terms with her death. Hopefully it is still years off, but if not I'm glad she's home with us where she belongs. The other cats, Michi, Lucian and Liv are being cautious and quiet around her. Which is good, they seem to know she can't deal with too much stress right now.

Good News and Bad

The Good News is that Kiggy doesn't appear to have either a heart condition or cancer! Her heart looks fine, no enlargement or thickening of the walls. The initial tests came back from the fluid tapped from her chest and there are no signs of cancer.

The Bad News is that they don't know what is wrong with her. There are more invasive and expensive tests that can be done like putting a scope into her chest to image the area. I've opted not to put her through that. It's more important that she is comfortable than we find a definitive cause.

She had a really good day yesterday. She ate and drank readily. She went back to the top of the stairs to lay in her favorite spot. The other cats are starting to accept her back again. I used a brush to brush them and then her to mingle their scents. They can smell the vet office all over her and don't take kindly to it.

Unfortunately late that afternoon she took a turn for the worse. I couldn't find her in her normal spots so I went looking. She was in the litterbox room. (We have the litterbox in a hall closet with a cat door so they can come in and out as they need.) I startled her and she ran into the bathroom and laid down on the tile by the toilet. She had a huge bowel movement and seemed to be upset. Shortly after that she went back in and started a night of diarrhea.

She seemed more comfortable in the bathroom so we set her up in there for the night. We gave her warm bedding to sleep on, a water dish and a litterbox. I read that you are supposed to withhold food when a cat has diarrhea. I wish I had the foresight to put something on the walls. She kicked up flecks of diarrhea all over the lower walls. I had a fun morning cleaning that up. They are now covered with plastic tarps and she has new clean bedding. That got soiled too.

I talked to Dr. Bass and he said the sedatives they used on her to get the tests done can cause an upset stomach. Hopefully this is just temporary. He also suggested a humidifier to help her breathe more easily. I bought one at Target.

When the cultures come back from the fluid aspirated from her chest, we'll know if it's a bacterial infection. He said there are bronchial medications we can try to help open up the airways. She is breathing more easily now. It's still a little labored but she's not coughing anymore.

Hopefully Kiggy has dodged the Kitty Reaper one more time. I'm back at work today and will likely leave early to check in on her this afternoon.

Dr. Death

I spent six hours yesterday at a critical care animal hospital with Kiggy. Dr. Bass wanted to have her heart looked at with an echocardiogram. I left work early to pick her up at Dr. Bass' office and took her to the hospital. I was glad to see her, she was quiet and still breathing heavily but seemed okay.

They took her back to do the echocardiogram and I waited and waited and waited. I saw family after family come in with their pets, mostly dogs, and leave without them. There were boxes of tissue on every table which was good as most people left in tears.

It's the type of place you go for emergencies and when your pet is very sick. Many of the people had to put their pets down. Many of the people were elderly and the blow was devastating.

The vet who was tending to Kiggy came to get me. He said that her heart looked okay, after which I breathed a sigh of relief. But he was not so optimistic. He said it may be cancer, a sarcoma that is causing this. They didn't see a tumor on the echocardiogram, but he thought it might still be likely. He was not confidant that it might be bronchitis as the fluid is outside of the lungs. He said the best scenario is that it was trauma. But I can't imagine how she could have hurt herself. There have been no cat fights and she's an indoor cat.

He had spoken to Dr. Bass who wanted to tap her chest to get the fluid out. They asked for permission to lightly sedate her and try. I said if Dr. Bass said it was safe then I was fine with it. I waited for several more hours in the waiting room seeing more people come through.

Finally the on call vet came to talk to me and said they could only get a small amount of fluid out and they would like to keep her overnight for observation. She could go home but they'd prefer she stay. I decided to bring her home. I couldn't stand the thought of putting her through more. I waited another hour as he finished up the paperwork and I got to take her home. They gave me a list of instructions of what to watch out for, mostly her breathing and her eating and drinking.

She was so happy to be home. I gave them all some canned food and she ate heartily. Her breathing was still labored, but no more coughing. We tried to have her sleep upstairs with us but she wanted to be downstairs on her ottoman. So I opted to sleep on the couch to monitor her breathing. She got up several times and sat in the kitchen. When I gave her more food, she ate readily.

I'm working from home today to keep an eye on her. My boss is wonderful, another cat lover. This is such a hard thing to go through. I'm not sure I can put her through too many more tests. Seeing her suffer is harder than knowing she'll die.

Kiggy Update

I just spoke to Dr. Bass. He took Kiggy home with him last night to keep an eye on her. Oddly I feel even more guilty because she should have been home with us. Yet, I'm so grateful for his kindness and care in taking her home. She's doing okay this morning. He says her breathing is still labored and her heart rate is up. He's not going to tap her chest at this time because he knows it will be too stressful for her.

He sent her x-rays to an advanced medical clinic to have a radiologist read her scans. He's is leaning more towards it being cardiomyopathy. He wants to do an echocardiogram to make sure. He says there are medications that can help including a nitroglycerine gel, diuretics and other heart medicine.

I hope I can pick her up today.

Ode to Kiggy

My 16 year old cat, Kiggy, is very ill. She has fluid in her lungs and has been having a hard time breathing.

We initially thought she was having a hard time getting a hair ball up. This is unusual for her as she vomits at least two times per week. We have many layers of covers on the furniture so we can quickly wash what she's just vomited on. As much as we brush her she seems to always throw up right after everything has been cleaned. It has just become part of living with Kiggy.

After a few days of coughing and hacking to no avail, we called our vet. Unfortunately he was out of town and we didn't think it was an emergency. We continued to brush her and give her the Petromalt, which fortunately she loves. On Monday we called as soon as the vet's office opened and got an appointment for 11:30. We knew she wasn't feeling well when she didn't struggle getting in her carrier or cry on the drive over to the vet. She didn't even struggle too much with Dr. Bass, which told us all, Dr. Bass included, that she wasn't feeling her best. She usually growls, hisses, swats and bites. Dr. Bass is so wonderful with her, he is gentle but firm and manages to get her to cooperate.

He doesn't believe that it is a hair ball or other obstruction. He thinks it's in her respiratory system and wanted to take chest x-rays. We had to leave Kiggy at the clinic so they could x-ray her in slow stages to not stress her out too much. Did I mention how much I like Dr. Bass?

We came later that afternoon to pick her up and talk to Dr. Bass. It turns out she has a lot of fluid in and around her left lung. He wants to drain some of the fluid out and have it tested. We could have either brought her home or left her overnight at his office. We opted to leave her as she was resting comfortably and he has a nice cat condo facility. We were afraid if we brought her home our other cats would harass her and cause her more stress. We wouldn't be home to supervise and they have picked on her before when she's feeling ill. It broke my heart to leave her there. She was burrowed in a towel but came out to see us when we went to see how she was.

I'm hoping to bring her home today, but I'm not sure how much longer she has. I know she's old and has had a good life, but it's so hard to say goodbye. My husband is optimistic that it is an infection and a bout of antibiotics may do the trick. I hope so, he's often right about these things. I just don't want her to suffer. She's the first pet I have had and I will miss her terribly.

The other 3 cats know something is wrong. They're quiet and subdued wondering where Kiggy is.